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About Varied / Hobbyist Core Member Ciro Lurker24/Male/United States Groups :iconatomic-tree-press: Atomic-Tree-Press
 
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Deviant for 5 Years
21 Month Core Membership
Statistics 119 Deviations 6,862 Comments 13,182 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Look! Something! by Ciro16 Look! Something! :iconciro16:Ciro16 5 7 Use your manners. by Ciro16 Use your manners. :iconciro16:Ciro16 10 10 Bad Parents. by Ciro16 Bad Parents. :iconciro16:Ciro16 3 7 Crem So'Da, Lurlim Bounty Hunter. by Ciro16 Crem So'Da, Lurlim Bounty Hunter. :iconciro16:Ciro16 10 15 LOOKY WHAT I FOUND!!! by Ciro16 LOOKY WHAT I FOUND!!! :iconciro16:Ciro16 3 0 CIRO UPDATE PICTCHA!! by Ciro16 CIRO UPDATE PICTCHA!! :iconciro16:Ciro16 6 7 Here's a thought! tell me what you guys think. by Ciro16 Here's a thought! tell me what you guys think. :iconciro16:Ciro16 0 4 The Shattered One Emblem by Ciro16 The Shattered One Emblem :iconciro16:Ciro16 5 0 Psycho Space Ninjas Emblem by Ciro16 Psycho Space Ninjas Emblem :iconciro16:Ciro16 8 14 A cigarette with her...oh... by Ciro16 A cigarette with her...oh... :iconciro16:Ciro16 2 13 Patti: the Unintentional Pokmon Trainer by Ciro16 Patti: the Unintentional Pokmon Trainer :iconciro16:Ciro16 3 2 Blue Gold Stone  Opalite. by Ciro16 Blue Gold Stone Opalite. :iconciro16:Ciro16 10 9 The Lady of Pain by Ciro16 The Lady of Pain :iconciro16:Ciro16 8 0 Old Deathwind Doodles. by Ciro16 Old Deathwind Doodles. :iconciro16:Ciro16 1 0 Erdan Aarn: Human Paladin by Ciro16 Erdan Aarn: Human Paladin :iconciro16:Ciro16 1 15 Aaron O'Domhnail: Human Fighter/Berserkerer by Ciro16 Aaron O'Domhnail: Human Fighter/Berserkerer :iconciro16:Ciro16 8 78

Favourites

Jackieboy Man! Issue 7 (part thirteen) by superloveharrypotter Jackieboy Man! Issue 7 (part thirteen) :iconsuperloveharrypotter:superloveharrypotter 84 20 Zero2B by MonoriRogue Zero2B :iconmonorirogue:MonoriRogue 329 8 Law of Creation contest entry by ThaiChau Law of Creation contest entry :iconthaichau:ThaiChau 146 8 Death is but an inconvenience by Grimmstein Death is but an inconvenience :icongrimmstein:Grimmstein 10 0 Dungeon surprises  by travisJhanson Dungeon surprises :icontravisjhanson:travisJhanson 116 15 Crawl Monster Scary Horror Kneeling Pose Reference by SenshiStock Crawl Monster Scary Horror Kneeling Pose Reference :iconsenshistock:SenshiStock 131 3 When the five moons are high the sacrifice is nigh by LeahPlainAndTallish When the five moons are high the sacrifice is nigh :iconleahplainandtallish:LeahPlainAndTallish 9 1 Hex Dice Tray Magnet Failure by DarkeVitrum Hex Dice Tray Magnet Failure :icondarkevitrum:DarkeVitrum 2 0 How to post pixel art on twitter by Cyangmou How to post pixel art on twitter :iconcyangmou:Cyangmou 71 2 Weekly practice by Kevin-Glint
Mature content
Weekly practice :iconkevin-glint:Kevin-Glint 91 5
Sky Kotori by Reddomi Sky Kotori :iconreddomi:Reddomi 86 3 Midnight Mirror by Naschi Midnight Mirror :iconnaschi:Naschi 491 12 gentlemen by rienlen gentlemen :iconrienlen:rienlen 40 1 GNOMES! by Spoonfayse GNOMES! :iconspoonfayse:Spoonfayse 61 2 Brigitte | Overwatch | by xdtopsu01 Brigitte | Overwatch | :iconxdtopsu01:xdtopsu01 182 6
Literature
The Dragon Eggs (Part One)
I fell down, down, down. Honestly, I could illustrate every feeling, but that would take too much time 'cause they'd be HUGE pictures. Anyways, down I go, down the rabbit hole. Thunk! Ouch! I still cant believe my mom ain't here, 'cause she would get a kick outta this. *Sigh* My butt really hurts now. "Who DARE lands in MY lair?!" Booms a voice as loud as an airplane starting. "OUR LAIR!!!!!" About another, lets say, hundred voices respond, filling the cave with loud shouts and noises. "Umm..." My voice wavers as I struggle to explain. "I was, uh, chasing this, um, pig and, uh..."  202 eyes blink back at me as I try to come up with a story. "You followed a DARE?!" My head snapped up. "What's a dare?" A small voice asks. "HOW THE HE-" I started to shout. "NO CUSSING!" A sort of womanly voice replies, almost bursting my ears. "But I didn't!" I say, confused. Who do these people think they are?! "Excuse me," The small voice from before speaks, "we're not humans,
:iconKeiko1212:Keiko1212
:iconkeiko1212:Keiko1212 1 0

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Look! Something!
Oh good lord, it has been forever since I posted anything. I'm sorry about that and I'll try to be more active in the future, but for now, how about some bistro-esque art I made for work today while I had time to do something.

It ain't poifect, but its something. I'll try to upload more later if I gets a turn at writing menus.
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Here's some humour to mask the depressing atmosphere of the last post, I guess...

ciria-luxom16.tumblr.com/image…

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So... I gotta level with you guys. Any of you who are still watching intently or even care. This is mostly gonna be rant journal, but its going to be very hard to write, because these are things that are quite personal and... Well I have a hard time letting people in. Any ways lemme start by saying this...

I'm not happy.
I have high functioning depression.

What that means is I can look and act totally fine, act like,my goofy wierd self.
But that's all it is. An act. A façade put on so that I don't burden those that I care about with even more baggage.

I know what most of you are thinking. "Why Ciro, why don't you just talk with us or your family about it," or "Ciro, you should really see a shrink if you're feeling this way."

That's all well and good. But that's also really naive of you to say. Do any of you really wanna hear what I'm really thinking or feeling? Do you really wanna listen to all of the dark shit in my head, the self destructive malarchy that I believe? History has dictated that that answer is no. And I have fewer friends because of it. Do you have any idea what it's like when you're told that and when you do open up, you're either ignored or told to keep it to yourself or, my personal favorite, told to die quietly so that everyone else can get on in peace?

If you have, then you are few forgotten souls in this indifferent society and you have my sympathies.

So yeah, I usually don't open up. Because despite how wonderful you all are, some of you more than others, you're still just strangers. Faceless strangers on the other side of the globe. With lives of your own. Its none of your business what goes on in mine.

And for those of you who I don't consider strangers or want to not make strangers, please understand that when I message you frequently, I do so because I care. I know it sound superbly selfish, and you're right it is. I hate it. I hate clingy people and its one of the many thing I hate about myself. But when another can look past that and tell me about the things I'm doing right, well... It kinda makes life that much more bearable. And god... That just sounds like some of the most awful shit...

I'm sorry... I really am, I'm really writing down all this as it comes to mind. This is, after all, a rant. But still I'm sure most of you don't care about my feelings and only watched for the good ol' anime gobbly goodness... Well... I've been finding it hard to do that recently.

My creative spark isn't what it was... Actually.. No. That's a lie. It's sharper than it ever has been. It's my motivation that's dying. Much like my motivation for everything else really.

I get these urges to draw or do something great when I'm at work or somewhere else where I can't do what I want, and when I do, it just fizzles. Vanishes into nothing. Then I go back to occupying myself with videogames, YouTube, porn or whatever my mind can get into. Feel like I'm getting the run around from my own mind and I'm getting tired of it. And my current living situation isn't helping.

Penniless, stranded in the middle of nowhere surrounded by loving family that don't really see any use or any importance in your interests and hobbies and instead project their ideals on you, even though these ideals have kept them in the same state as you're in for years. Also there's the fact that I can be homeless in no time flat if certain payments aren't made and with me being the only stable source of income, it kinda sucks that I work a job who intentionally keeps their employees poor in order to force them to work for them. So... Set's kinda the first and last thing on my mind right now.

I just feel like I'm just drifting on until my inevitable end. Call me out on my Bullshit, defend yourselves, call me a crying lil' white privileged first world problem crybaby bitch who should just die, I don't care. Just don't be surprised if I take your advice.

Welp, I've said enough and will probably lose friends and followers in the morning. I'm done. Its 4 a.m. in the morning and I need sleep. If it'll come.
I hear them... They're out there, waiting... Watching with those eye's of theirs...
Everyones already gone, taken by those.... things. I can hear them outside.sounds like them. but it's not them.

I don't know how long I have. I have flashlights at all the doors and windows, but it wont keep the others out. 
I saw what they did... my family... friends.... even my cat.... now them...

I don't want that. I won't be that... Hopefully this gun will spare me. fingers crossed.

I hear them. they're coming.. They're coming....

Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.
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Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.
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Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.Don't touch me.

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deviantID

Ciro16
Ciro Lurker
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
My lifegoals are to become a manga ka, a youtuber, maybe make some music, and to change the world forever...

Pretty epic huh?
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So... I gotta level with you guys. Any of you who are still watching intently or even care. This is mostly gonna be rant journal, but its going to be very hard to write, because these are things that are quite personal and... Well I have a hard time letting people in. Any ways lemme start by saying this...

I'm not happy.
I have high functioning depression.

What that means is I can look and act totally fine, act like,my goofy wierd self.
But that's all it is. An act. A façade put on so that I don't burden those that I care about with even more baggage.

I know what most of you are thinking. "Why Ciro, why don't you just talk with us or your family about it," or "Ciro, you should really see a shrink if you're feeling this way."

That's all well and good. But that's also really naive of you to say. Do any of you really wanna hear what I'm really thinking or feeling? Do you really wanna listen to all of the dark shit in my head, the self destructive malarchy that I believe? History has dictated that that answer is no. And I have fewer friends because of it. Do you have any idea what it's like when you're told that and when you do open up, you're either ignored or told to keep it to yourself or, my personal favorite, told to die quietly so that everyone else can get on in peace?

If you have, then you are few forgotten souls in this indifferent society and you have my sympathies.

So yeah, I usually don't open up. Because despite how wonderful you all are, some of you more than others, you're still just strangers. Faceless strangers on the other side of the globe. With lives of your own. Its none of your business what goes on in mine.

And for those of you who I don't consider strangers or want to not make strangers, please understand that when I message you frequently, I do so because I care. I know it sound superbly selfish, and you're right it is. I hate it. I hate clingy people and its one of the many thing I hate about myself. But when another can look past that and tell me about the things I'm doing right, well... It kinda makes life that much more bearable. And god... That just sounds like some of the most awful shit...

I'm sorry... I really am, I'm really writing down all this as it comes to mind. This is, after all, a rant. But still I'm sure most of you don't care about my feelings and only watched for the good ol' anime gobbly goodness... Well... I've been finding it hard to do that recently.

My creative spark isn't what it was... Actually.. No. That's a lie. It's sharper than it ever has been. It's my motivation that's dying. Much like my motivation for everything else really.

I get these urges to draw or do something great when I'm at work or somewhere else where I can't do what I want, and when I do, it just fizzles. Vanishes into nothing. Then I go back to occupying myself with videogames, YouTube, porn or whatever my mind can get into. Feel like I'm getting the run around from my own mind and I'm getting tired of it. And my current living situation isn't helping.

Penniless, stranded in the middle of nowhere surrounded by loving family that don't really see any use or any importance in your interests and hobbies and instead project their ideals on you, even though these ideals have kept them in the same state as you're in for years. Also there's the fact that I can be homeless in no time flat if certain payments aren't made and with me being the only stable source of income, it kinda sucks that I work a job who intentionally keeps their employees poor in order to force them to work for them. So... Set's kinda the first and last thing on my mind right now.

I just feel like I'm just drifting on until my inevitable end. Call me out on my Bullshit, defend yourselves, call me a crying lil' white privileged first world problem crybaby bitch who should just die, I don't care. Just don't be surprised if I take your advice.

Welp, I've said enough and will probably lose friends and followers in the morning. I'm done. Its 4 a.m. in the morning and I need sleep. If it'll come.

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Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconnanadagger:
NanaDagger Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Student Digital Artist
thanks for the watch!
Reply
:iconciro16:
Ciro16 Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very much welcome! But you should really thank Bruno, he's the one who introduced me to your excellent art! ^^
Reply
:iconsirenabonita:
sirenabonita Featured By Owner 4 days ago
:iconmermaidplz:  Mermaid Mia & i thank you ~ Mia's mermaid folder
Reply
:iconjackiecoco:
JackieCoco Featured By Owner 4 days ago
haha long time no see! thanks for the fave ^^
Reply
:iconciro16:
Ciro16 Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Indeed Jackie! How you doin? And you're welcome. ^^
Reply
:iconjackiecoco:
JackieCoco Featured By Owner 3 days ago
I've been doing fine thank you, and you? :)
Reply
:iconciro16:
Ciro16 Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
I've been better. In currently sick at the moment, but it will pass.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconcirclefork:
CircleFork Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Professional General Artist

Thank you very much for fave! Every support is important for me :airborne:

Reply
:icon0rangeleaves:
0rangeleaves Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Here is the petition about the replacement for Sonic Comics, after they have finished in a series of Archie comics, and the survival of the freedom fighters were stay tuned by ShanhaT, you know I'm autistic.

www.change.org/p/save-the-free…
Reply
:iconciro16:
Ciro16 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Huh?
Reply
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